Favorite Movies of '09

Crazy. It's the final curtain call for 2009. Tons of stuff has happened this year and you'll be inundated with a bunch of different TV shows reiterating every single moment. From Barack Obama's swearing in, to Tiger Woods failing Pimp School. For my end of year review, I'm going to share with you my list of favorite films I enjoyed in the oh-nine. Take note, I haven't seen Avatar yet. I know, I know. I'll get on it. I promise. When I read other people's top 10 lists, I tend to skip over their summary of the film. So, I'll make sure to keep mine short with the hopes you'll stay interested. Plus these aren't given in any particular order.

Up - Pixar rules storytelling. Yes, I cried.

The Hangover - Funny. Funny. Funny. Makes me want to go to Vegas as well as stay far away from it.

Star Trek - I want to be J.J. Abrams when I grow up. Watched it six times in the theater and religiously a couple times a month since.

Inglorious Basterds - A WWII story only Quentin Tarantino can tell. Loved "The Jew Hunter" and Eli Roth demonstrating his baseball swing.

Taking Chance - Phenomenal film based on a true story. Felt on the verge of tears from the very beginning and yes I shed them several times through the film. Kevin Bacon was meant to wear a military uniform.

District 9 - If a group is oppressed over a period of time, what usually happens? A revolution. Thank you Peter Jackson for taking a chance on Neill Blomkamp.

Watchmen - This is what comic-based movies should look like, plus there's blue wiener.

Zombieland - Read World War Z. Play Left 4 Dead. Watch this movie!

Where the Wild Things Are - We all have our own personal memories of childhood. This film made me relive mine wonderfully. Yes, I cried.

The Hurt Locker - Kathryn Bigelow took something terribly violent and made it look beautiful. Remember there has been plenty of American blood spilled on the sands of the Middle East and still continues to spill.

I'll have to get to Avatar sometime next week. Especially since it's grossed 725 million dollars worldwide in less than 2 weeks. Love him or hate him, James Cameron is a mastermind of a filmmaker.

Happy New Year folks!

Next on The Improv Stage

Back on my old blog I wrote about the many-worlds theory. I would link back to the old blog, but it no longer exists...at least not in this universe. No worries, basically many-worlds means there are an infinite number of parallel universes that exist for us. So, where you made a left in this universe, you made a right in another and so on and so on.

I'm pretty sure in another universe I'm a pretty famous comic. I say that because I've always been fond of comedy and I've been told that I can be a funny guy at times. I even considered being a comedian when I was in high school, but I also considered being a Space Shuttle pilot, porn star, professional skateboarder and an OB/GYN. When you're in high school, the world is still your oyster until you start to pay taxes.

Well in this universe there are some really funny comics getting some airtime on Comedy Central. Here are a few I recommend you check out.

Josh Blue

Jokes.com
Josh Blue - Being Inspirational
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Lynne Koplitz

Jokes.com
Lynne Koplitz - Lollipop
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Gabriel Iglacias


And my new favorite funny girl. Anjelah Johnson

Bad Edit? Who Cares. It's a Parody.

Woke up this morning with a link from Vadinne to a parody of Lonely Island's "I'm on a Boat". Funny stuff, plus the Asian girl in the bikini dancing is a nice bonus...even though she's lacking in the onion department.



And while reading my daily ration of other people's blogs, I caught this on The Corporate Whoracle. It's especially funny if you know any cougars personally...of course I do.

100 Billion Strong

A while back I blogged an excerpt from one of my all time favorite books, American Gods by Neil Gaiman. At the end of it I said, "I believe we're significantly insignificant." Here is what I meant:

Merry Christmas!!!

Hey there folks. I certainly hope this Christmas finds all of you well, in good health and with loved ones. I've finished all my Christmas shopping (took care of the last of it early this morning) and now I'm going to just chill and wait until Santa shows up to share some Sam Adams Winter Ale with me.

We went driving around the neighborhood to see some of the lights our neighbors have done up in their yards. Some of the houses look really good. I'm not big on decorating for Christmas, probably because we go all out for Halloween. Here are a few of the illuminated cribs in my neck of the woods.







Looking forward to not only watching the kids open gifts in the morning, but also go to work on the big Christmas feast. For those of you that know me also know that I can get my burn on.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Subscribe to This Blog...Not My Blog...Yes My Blog, But This One Too

Because I said so, and I'm the boss of you. Seriously though, it is a fun blog and it always makes me laugh. The writing is superb, and you can't help but to find the truth in his, sometimes, ridiculous banter. It is only updated once in a blue moon, but each update is worth it. You've got 129 previous posts to catch up on anyway.

Stuff White People Like

Cuz white folks like a lot of stuff for many fun reasons.

Oh Saint Nicky, Don't You See...

Just saw this and YouTube had it so I can share! And sharing is what Christmas is all about!



And then I found this!



Black Santa represent! North-side!

Mmmmmmfiveguys

I love a lot of shows on Travel Channel. Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations...LOVE it! Dhani Tackles the Globe...love it AND it reminds me I really need to workout. Madventures...those Finns are some crazy ass mofos. Man v. Food...he must have some mad doo-doos AND it reminds me I really need to workout. Bizzare Foods...don't love it as much as I used to because now Andrew just annoys me.

My new favorite TC show? Meet the Natives - USA! If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend you tune in. The premise is very simple. Grab five guys from the remote South-Pacific island of Tanna and let them spend a week with five different American families, all from varying walks of life. The show is both very entertaining and enlightening. They have an almost child-like approach to everything they experience, but they bring with them so much wisdom and real honesty. Here's a sampling:







Keep an out for indigenous nudity you crazy kids!

But I Can Kick Your Ass!

I've blogged briefly about the movie Kick-Ass, but it was more inspired by the character Hit-Girl. Well some more Hit-Girl-induced-Kick-Ass goodness has just hit the web. Oh yea, I'm DEFINITELY going to go see this movie! Red band trailer, by the way. Consider yourself warned!



Props to Harry for giving me a good breakfast!

30 Second Doses of Goodness

You think making a movie is tough? Imagine making a commercial. You have 30 seconds to convey your message and leave a memorable impression upon the prospective consumer. Millions are spent on these tiny pieces of eye candy with the hope that investment will pay back hundredfold. Here are a few of my current favorites:









And of course...



Get crackin' you crazy kids!

More Than Lighting Up The Christmas Tree

Have I mentioned how much I love Pomplamoose? Oh yeah...I have! Merry Christmas!!!



Jemara just reminded me...6 days!

I'll Have the Cuba Libre With My Breakfast, Please

Back in a past life, I used to have to wear a uniform and sometimes Uncle Sam would order me to go to Roosevelt Roads Naval Station in Puerto Rico for periods of time to do cool military stuff. Trust me, Puerto Rico isn't the most difficult of assignments a young airman can receive. I really had a great time whenever I went and I'm surprised I survived each trip relatively unscathed. Yes there was danger involved with the "cool military stuff", but the real danger was the super cheap bottles of Puerto Rican rum and how easily it poured down my throat. I remember one morning, after a long night of clubbing, my buddies and I decided to get some breakfast. We sit down at an outdoor bistro/breakfast booth kind of thing and on the menu was the typical Puerto Rican breakfast fare. I think I got eggs with ham, some damn good local bread and fruit. When asked what to drink I look up at the menu and I notice cuba libre was cheaper than orange juice. For those of you not in the know, a cuba libre is basically a glass full of white rum with a splash of coke to change the color slightly and a lemon or lime wedge. So, being a broke airman, trying to save all the money I could, I got the cuba libre, of course. Good times.

The whole conversation about Puerto Rico was supposed to be a segue for the competitive reality show, "The Sing-Off". Before I get started, I'm not really a big fan of these types of shows. It isn't that I don't like them because I've watched the very first season of "American Idol" as well as "America's Best Dance Crew". My buddy, Dusty, is a big fan of "So You Think You Can Dance" and she's shown me some really cool stuff from that show (in fact, she just blogged about it). So, I do watch those types of shows, but the real problem I have with them is they take too long to get to the end. There are like 20 contestants and they slowly whittle them down one-by-one until you reach the climactic finale. So, I find myself not watching it until they get to the last few episodes.

"The Sing-Off" is a little different because the show started on Tuesday with 8 groups and by Thursday they had it narrowed down to the 3 finalists. The voting lines are open and they'll announce the winner on Monday. Yes, a competitive reality show that is only a week long...PERFECT! Anyway, the premise of the show is groups sing songs sans instruments...all a cappella. Yes, most of the groups remind me of glee clubs, but there is one in particular that owns the competition. The group is Nota and they're from Puerto Rico...enjoy:




Finally, how in the hell do you do an a cappella version of Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer"? Like this:

For As Cool As Apple Can Be

Why don't they support Flash on the iPhone/iPod and why won't they let you embed Quicktime trailers? If you're going to take over the world with shiny silver things that make our computing interactions easier, then they should be able to knock those simple things out. C'mon Stevie, hook a brotha up! Well since I can't embed a Quicktime trailer to my blog, I'm going to request you all go here. Click on the down arrow to the immediate right of the "Watch Trailer" button and select one of the HD versions (I recommend 720p). Wait for the trailer to load then hit Ctrl-F, crank up the volume and enjoy!

While you're at it, check out the updated Clash of the Titans trailer with even more clashing goodness!

Kick-Ass!!!

Jemara started a Swear Jar at home. Everytime daddy says a bad word, I put a dollar in the jar. The term "jar" is being used very loosely. The "jar" is really her purse and she's gotten about 15 bucks from me over the past couple weeks. I do my best to not cuss around her, but sometimes (and usually while I'm playing the Xbox) a bad word or two will slip out. That girl has cuss-word-induced hearing though, because as soon as I curse she immediately pops out of hiding, like a money collecting ninja, with her palm extended and a big grin on her face. I am slowly getting better though. Anyway, I figured I could blog curse words all I want because I don't say them outloud. I won't push my luck though because I'm sure Jemara would figure out some Swear Jar loophole so she could collect on both spoken and written words. She's too darn smart for an 11 year old.

Why is this blog titled "Kick-Ass"? Because that is the title of a movie coming out next year. Being a comic-based movie, it's been a tiny blip on my radar the past couple months. The trailer came out and I was impressed, but it wasn't like Watchmen-induced nipple erection. Well, that was until I saw this:



Here's the trailer:

'

Thanks to Merrick at AintItCool for showering me with the goods. Have fun kicking ass...oops, I mean butts you crazy kids!

The Duality of One Man

I know I've hinted several times about how I have this side job of making movies and the such. I certainly haven't kept secret about my bromance with my boy Ken. Well the boys of Cloudy Logic Productions have been working diligently to step up our game. Ken has updated the website to give it a more modern touch. I'm also going to start a new blog, strictly for CLP activities. Do not fret dear readers, for I will continue to maintain this fine virtual place of literary brain dumping. This space will just occupy all of my normal acts of depravity and perversion that many of you are so fond of reading.

Having said that, the Christmas (yes, I still call it Christmas and not Holiday) season is upon us. Hell, for some of the stores it has been upon us since late August. Jemara has a homemade advent calendar thumbtacked on the wall of my office, counting down the days. She also has a little note that says, "P.S. Don't forget to put a ping pong table on my x-mas list." Like we have the space to put in a ping pong table for her and her imaginary friend. I'll get her a ping pong app for her iPod.

While I was I was driving on 436 yesterday, I happened to catch this really cool sight:


I wish I could have seen it at night. He looks like the kind of guy I want to sit down and drink beer with. We can both discuss our checkered histories of being naughty and nice.

Lions and Tigers and Zombies...Oh My!

I recently blogged about the group Pompalamoose and they did their own version of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music. Well a new version has been surfing the digital waves of the Internets (that NEVER gets old). Enjoy:



Thanks to Hawty McBloggy for sharing the wealth. Make sure you always have a fresh clip handy you crazy kids!

A Vampire Movie I Actually WANT to Watch

I'm sure watching pubescent teenage boys with ripped bodies (and a spritz or two of Sexy Oil upon their young pecs) might appeal to some of you.  Not so much for me.  This, however, does:

Funny, Because I Just Watched "The Mist"

I'm sitting up watching the news and they talk about a strange light phenomenon that happened in Norway earlier today:



I watched the video several times and I immediately thought, wormhole...time to kick in Stage 1 of the Zombie Plan.  Then I found a news report claiming it was possibly just a failed Russian rocket launch.  The more I watch the video, the more it looks like a failed rocket launch.  Maybe I should check the pantry to see how much non-perishables we have anyway.

Glenn Beck is Probably Already Whipping Out the Lube

Got my montly issue of Golf Digest and this was the cover:



I'll make sure to put it in a plastic protector and give it to one of the grandkids in my Last Will and Testament.

Before History...Beyond Imagination!

Dusty blogged about this before, and I've been meaning to touch on it but the demands of trying to be creative seem to take up most of my available time.  I'm about to shut down for the night and I decided to give Jemara a little education on how awesome movies were when dad was growing up.  Namely, one of my most memorable films, Clash of the Titans...



I remember being terrified of Medusa.  She looked so real to me.  Of course, my imagination filled in a lot of the blanks claymation left behind.  And after looking at that trailer, there were a LOT of blanks.  Wow, we've come a long way in creating reality in a movie.  Of course, to Jemara, the 1980's Medusa was kind of comical, but I wonder if she'll be afraid of the computer rendered version in the new movie:



That trailer makes me giddy like a Japanese schoolgirl in a Sanrio store during a Hello Kitty sale.

I'm Sorry Ken, It's Karen's Fault

I was supposed to be working on some CLP goodness, but I get an e-mail from Dusty saying I should show a YouTube link to Jemara.  Purely based on faith, I beckoned Jemara and clicked the link without even knowing where it would take me.  "Karen wouldn't send me anything crazy...or would she?"  Crazy?  It was so crazy it took away precious time I had previously mentally invested to writing treatments, updating shot lists and reviewing scripts.  I don't use the term "precious time" loosely.  Even typing this blog is eating away at valuable seconds I could be using to ensure I get one step closer to doing a job I truly love, every single day.  Alas, sometimes while traversing the path to personal fulfillment you have to take a detour and tread along territory that is completely new.

The new territory is called Pomplamoose Music and they really are a detour worth taking.  If you haven't already cheated and Googled "pomplamoose", please bear with me for a few minutes while I babble some philosophical crap....annnnnnd action!

There are so many different types of people in the world and we run the full spectrum when it comes to talents and traits.  Within humanity we can have the absolute worst, but conversely the very best.  I am of the type of human who like to create.  I guess I would be called an artist by the laymen, but not only am I an artist, I absolutely love and respect others who create.  I really believe people of similar thinking tend to gravitate toward one another.  It is just the nature of The Universe.  So, whenever I'm presented with something that gives me a creativity-induced-orgasm, I have to pay it proper homage and what better way to do that than via the Internets?

What did Karen pass on for me to share with Jemara?  Something extremely cool and oh so very creative.  What happens when you take a very talented musical couple and mix it with some great audio/video editing?  Pomplamoose!

Me and Jemara's favorite song they do:


Some of my personal favorites:



And the song I absolutely love the most:


Want more?  Enlightenment is only a click away...

Sorry Ken.  I PROMISE to get back on track.  You've got to admit though, the distraction is pretty damn cool.

P.S.  Kept on following links and it led me to this:

Tricks and/or Treats

I know Halloween was more than a month ago...wow, it really is December.  2009 is running out of days.  Anyway, I never got around to editing the Halloween video we shot until recently because I was so busy.  Well, here's a tasty morsel to show you how the Zombie Church came to be as well as a few shots of all the wonderful friends and family who helped make it such a success.



BOO!!!

You Know You're a Filmmaker When...

You use the shower in a spare bathroom as a storage for C-stands:

And/or your garage kind of looks like the inside of a grip truck:

This stuff is in Ken & Brenda's house, by the way.  Hence why I love 'em so much!

Daha! Look the Giant Chicken is Boba Fett.

Family Guy and Star Wars. It was proven an awesome combination in Blue Harvest. Well just like the original movie series, they're comin' back at'cha with pants bulging full of The Force:

Most Sensational Inspirational Celebrational...

Muppetational!



Thanks to Harry for providing the big smiles!

Been Busy...

You might ask, "With what?"

"With this," says Willie.

Summer is Over. Enter Fall/Winter...Stage Left

We've had a pretty good run this year, when it comes to movies despite some really bad attempts at filmmaking (Transformers 2 and G.I. Joe). Yet, there still were a few that kept me entertained. In some cases, they kept me entertained many times over (I watched Star Trek six times in the theater and The Hangover twice). Summer has passed, in Florida it just passed a couple days ago, but the movies still keep pressing on. Here's a peek at some of the movies I'm looking forward to ending my 2009 with:











Make sure you put extra butter on your popcorn you crazy kids.

Now I'm Giddy Like a Lil Japanese Schoolgirl

Bang...bang...bang...bang!

Giddy Like a Lil Schoolgirl

And Nate Dogg finally gets some commercial cred!

Happy Halloween!

Sorry for not blogging much, but I've been kind of busy. With what? With this:



Let the screams begin!!!

So THAT'S What it Feels Like?!

My sense of wonder may seem strange to some. I'm not saying I'm weird or anything, but maybe I am. Okay, how about this? Have you ever wondered when someone knew, without a shadow of a doubt, they were destined to be [blank]? Insert whatever you want in the [blank] part of that question. For instance, when Chuck Yeager first played with a balsa wood airplane, did he knew he was going to be a pilot?  Or when Stevie Wonder first put a harmonica to his lips, did he KNOW he was going to be involved with music?  Those are kind of extreme examples.  How about this one?  My sister, Angie, is a college professor.  Everything she did, willingly or not, all led her to her eventually becoming a teacher of some kind.  She LOVES school and everything about it and she's had a 4.0 GPA since birth.  But WHEN did she KNOW she was going to be a college professor?  Probably not the first time she got straight A's, or the first time she graduated with honors.  I'm guessing it was possibly after she went to college and met that one professor who inspired her and then she realized why The Universe's Grand Plan was for her to become a college professor.

After this past weekend, I now KNOW I was meant to be involved in film. All the choices I've made in my life would eventually lead me to this moment of realization. I'm destined to be a filmmaker or involved in the movie making process for the rest of my life. Kind of like how Chuck Yeager realized he was going to be a pilot the first time he did a barrel roll on a solo flight, or how Stevie Wonder realized he was meant to be a musician when he heard and felt people applauding and cheering to a song he just finished singing.  It is these moments where you say to yourself, everything I've learned and experienced and have lived through is for me to be a...

...filmmaker

Of course, NOW it all makes perfect sense.  I've always loved movies.  The first film I remember ever watching?  Star Wars.  The first time I remember crying in a movie was E.T.  Everything about movie making amazes me.  Logic would dictate at some point in time, I would be directly involved in making movies in some form of official capacity.  Not saying, I haven't been doing that for years now, but I've officially traversed the line where my dream is becoming reality.  And it isn't done for fame and fortune, but just for the sheer joy of doing it.

Yes...I am happy.

Still Playing With Picnik

A while ago, I blogged about a cool "cloud" app called Picnik. Well, it still gives me pleasure, and here's a few more pics I've picnik'd...

Another sky:


EVIL!


Bearing the burden...I'm going to burn for a lot worse than this...trust me:


This is a cool pic taken by a co-worker, Bryan's brother-in-law who works for NASA. It's of the Ares I-X test rocket and I put some Picnik stank on it:


Keep creating you crazy kids!

When I Grow Up, I Want to Be a Writer/Director!

And here's one of the reasons why:

Find Your Wild Side

As I get older, memories of my childhood become more faint. I can recall specific incidents in vivid detail, but I can't remember everything. The realities of growing up seem to shove the innocence of you being a child out of the way. It is the natural progression of maturity. Eventually, you give up almost all of your childish ways to make room for responsibility, rules and taxes. It sucks actually.

Jemara and I watched Where the Wild Things Are, and I enjoyed it tremendously. I gracefully bow to Spike Jonze's vision and ability to thrust me back to the magical time of my childhood. When my waking hours were limited only by my imagination. When instead of using punctuation when telling stories, sentences were joined by the word "and". When I could be an astronaut and I was launched into space on a special spaceship and I got pulled into a black hole and I went to the other side of the galaxy and I crash landed on a planet made of cheesecake and I ate the cheesecake because I was hungry but the aliens on the planet got angry because I was eating their homes and I tried to apologize and they were cool and I asked them if I could use their bathroom because I had to pee bad because I held it since I left earth and they said we don't have bathrooms and I said well I gotta pee and they said what's pee and I said it's pee and I couldn't hold it anymore so I peed on the ground but the ground was cheesecake and it was like special to them so they got mad again and I ran but the cheesecake ground was sticking to my feet and they were like you peed on our ground and that's not cool and I said I was sorry again and I gave them the gold I brought with me because I took like a lot of gold with me from earth so I could take it to space but it was heavy and that's why I got pulled into the black hole in the first place.

As the movie ended, the experience of me reliving my childhood also ended and I realized just how much I missed certain aspects of it. Kudos Mr. Jonze. Go remember what it's like to be a kid and watch Where the Wild Things Are.



Jemara LOVED the movie, by the way. In her words, "My new favorite best movie ever." Before Where the Wild Things Are, her favorite movie was Disney's Aladdin. Looks like she's growing up too.

Was it a Hoax?

So, there's speculation the "Balloon Boy" incident, involving the Heene family, was an elaborate hoax. Check out this hip-hop video Papa Heene did with his family and you tell me if the whole balloon event was staged:

You say, "In the attic." I say, "Behind the sofa."

Stop me if you've heard this one. A family of five, who's been on Wife Swap a couple times, decide to make a big mylar balloon as a family experiment and somehow it flies away...

So, they find the son in the attic. Five hour search across 50 miles with a huge number of eyes looking for him. The military had a Kiowa in the air and they were getting a Blackhawk ready to join the search. Yes, the same helicopter in Blackhawk Down. They had a military chopper with it's own movie in the search...and they found him in the attic. Countless man and woman hours, gas for vehicles, and donuts were invested in the search for this kid. A crazy amount of tax dollars spent looking...and they found him in the attic. I'm not even including the hours wasted across the country as people were glued to their TV's or the internet watching the live news reports of this silver, UFO-ish balloon floating across cool autumn air of Colorado. When you add in that parameter, the scope and scale of this search and rescue effort is immeasurable. Probably priceless.

And they found him in the attic.

Am I upset? Not at all. If anything, I'm jealous because the same thing happened to me when I was about his age, but my search didn't get as much noteriety. Before I start this story, let me turn back the clock to when it occurs:



When I was 5-6 years old we were living at Scott Air Force Base in Illinois. One day I decided to hide from my mom. I didn't mean any harm. I was a kid and kids do harmless things purely because they make us giggle. And boy was I giggling as I hid behind that sofa, a little after lunch. My mom was doing mom stuff and I was going to hide until the perfect moment. [giggle] I'd wait here patiently and eventually she'll call my name. "Willie?" But I wouldn't answer. [giggle] No I won't. [giggle giggle] I'll wait until she gets a little frantic, almost screaming and THEN I'll pop out. [giggle yawn] That's what I'll do and it'll be awesome to see her face as I surprise her. [giggle yawn yawn] And then she'll be shocked and she'll scream in fear at first [yawn] but then she'll be happy to see me. [gigaYAWN yaaaaaawn] And then she'll give me ice cream [yawn] for being so silly and fun. I just have to make myself a little [yawn] more [yawn] comfortable. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

When I woke up it was nighttime and a stranger in a military police uniform was shaking me awake as others pulled away the sofa. The living room was completely filled with people and all of them were looking at me. My mother screamed alright. She screamed and rushed towards me and held me tighter than I've ever been held. And then I think she whipped my butt. I'm pretty sure after the hugging and the love and the magic of the reunion wore off, there was some butt whuppins.

Turns out I took an excitement-from-hiding-induced nap for over six hours. Totally true story. Next time my mom is in town, she'll be happy to confirm it. When ever we relive this story, we both laugh so hard we're always brought to tears. Both out of the re-experience and because it was the best possible outcome during those very punishing hours for my family. Those six, very short, hours of my life must have been several lifetimes for my parents. Sorry, mom and dad.

So, I tip my hat to Falcon Heene. He definitely showed me up.

I Believe

Those in the know, know Neil Gaiman is my boo. Once I read American Gods, I was officially hooked. Brilliant book and I've read it cover-to-cover five times. I am Shadow. I am Wednesday. I am Mr. Nancy.

I'm currently listening to the audiobook. As a side note, when working out audiobooks are the absolute best. Anyway, I'm listening to to the American Gods audiobook and it got to one of my favorite parts. Sam is talking about what she believes in:

I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen–I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones who look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.

I believe we're significantly insignificant.

Another Great Idea Slips Through Your Fingers...Literally

How many times have you watched TV and seen a commercial for something you KNOW you should have invented? The Snuggie. A damn robe worn backwards. How many times have we done that as kids for just kicks and grins? Well someone decided to take such a simple idea and make zillions of dollars with it. The Pet Rock. DAMMIT!!!!

While watching CNN this morning, I was shown another BRILLIANT idea someone else has capitalized on and I'm sure he/she is going to buy an island with all their earnings:



I hope they choke on the lobster they're eating at their candlelit dinner at their beach on their private island in Dubai.

It's All in the Grip

Ken gave me a great book to read. Based on the Movie is the first novel by Billy Taylor and it is the story about a grip, Bobby Conlon, on the set of a feature film and all of the terrible and wonderful things that happen to him in the process of trying to help get this movie done. I LOVED the book. Mr. Taylor really knows how to tell a story. Granted, if I was given this book a couple years ago, I would have been lost in all the film production lingo. He gives some brief explanations of some of the terminology, but this book was written for filmmakers and people who help make film possible. What do I mean by film lingo? For instance, he'll lead some of the chapters with a joke. Here's an example:

What's the difference between a PA and a roll of gaffer's tape?

You can't make the roll of gaffer's tape cry.

If you know what a PA and gaffer's tape is, that joke is HILARIOUS. I mean laugh out loud funny. Through the process of osmosis I've learned what a PA and what gaffer's tape is. In fact, I've been a PA once or twice, and I've even used gaffer's tape. Thanks so much Ken for the complimentary Full Sail education. ;-)

The other thing I loved about the book is it tells the story of someone who lived for movies. To the main character, Bobby, every definition of the word 'happy' had to involve movies in some fashion. He was a grip for a lot of years, but he always aspired to be a writer/director (even though he's never written a screenplay). Reading it has injected my spirit with a sense of creative enthusiasm. I don't know when I decided to be a director. I'm pretty sure Ken made the decision for me and pointed me in the right direction, but once you've occupied the chair it is like a drug and I'm in constant need of a fix. There will be plenty of opportunities to score some primo stuff here in the near future. You all need to keep a look out.

Think I'm kidding? Below is a picture of Ken's camera. The camera Cloudy Logic Productions will be using to bring visual bliss to as many audience members as possible. Take a good look at it:



I DARE any of you to say we don't take this sh*t serious.

Cuz I'm Half Asian...

This is how I roll when I make ramen...



Don't hate...salivate.

By the way, I've tried a LOT of ramen in my many years of existence, but Neoguri Spicy Seafood is one of the best!

Skies

I saw on the news 1 out of 3 Bostonians, both male and female, would give up having relations for a whole year instead of giving up their cell phones. Seriously? And to think Boston was on the short list of places I was considering relocating to in the future. Sounds like the list got a little shorter.

I'm really not that attached to my phone, but I do like having a pocket sized camera on hand. I recently went through my stored photos and noticed I have quite a few pictures of skies. Here are some for your visual enjoyment...













Make sure you look up every now and then.

It's that Most Wonderous Time of the Year!

I'm pretty certain I was a Pagan in a past life, because I LOVE Halloween. Even when I was a little kid and I would dress up to go trick-or-treating. When you're 2-3, your parents always got a kick out of dressing you up like an adult (cop, firefighter, burglar) or they'd make you wear something that made you look like a fruit or pumpkin. When you I got old enough to make demands, I always got one of those box Halloween costume kits. You know, the thin plastic mask and a faux-cloth-like material bodysuit that tied in the back. Both of which seemed to make you sweat like a heifer in a slaughterhouse. I remember getting the bottom of the barrel costumes because mom & dad would buy it right on Halloween because it coincided with payday. So, all of the cool costumes (Boba Fett, Darth Vader and Han Solo) were already gobbled up and I was usually stuck with being a Storm Trooper or not getting a box costume at all and wearing a brown cape to be Lando Calrissian. Yes, when I was a kid EVERYTHING was about Star Wars.

Anyway, Halloween was a time to dress up and be someone else. Even though that someone wasn't necessarily your first choice, or fifth, but you were just stuck with it because mom & dad had to hit K-Mart on Halloween itself to find your costume. You can be someone else for a while and all you had to do was ring a doorbell and say trick-or-treat to get free candy...or pennies...or Jeebus fliers. Then you'd come home and your parents would sort through your haul and toss out all the "suspicious" candy which translated to any candy in an already open wrapper, or no wrapper at all. Seriously though, if someone went through the trouble of putting a razor blade in my Snickers then why would they leave it in an obviously tampered wrapper? Silly parents. In the end you were left with a bunch of candy and you had to follow strict rules as to when you can have it and how often. To kids we wanted it now and all the time. By Thanksgiving you're normally left with black candy corn and root beer candy.

The fun and intrigue of Halloween has carried on to my adult life. Now, instead of candy, I feed off screams. There is something truly rewarding when scaring the crap out of someone. If you've done it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For more than a few years now, The Lowrie's and others have helped to pull off some of the best Halloweens of my life. We do a haunted house in the grandest scale, and have a lot of fun in the process. In years past we've done different themes. I think the first was a haunted castle-like thing. The past two years have been the haunted pirate ship. This year? Zombie church. Here's a few clues to help whet your appetite:

TOOLS!



Some assembly required...


EVIL!


Ken measuring his "stick"...


Shingles (the roof kind, not the skin kind)...


Nothing says holy like stained glass...


Is it real or is it Memorex?


Stay tuned!

Pixelgasms...

If you've read my previous blogs, you might have gotten the hint I was a bit of a video game connoisseur. Especially of the first person shooter nature. The most amazing thing about video games is they get more and more realistic. Just when you thought it wasn't possible for a game to have more detail, the next one does and so on and so on. It's crazy to think this was top of the line gaming 10 years ago:



Move over bacon, here comes something meatier. Here are a few of the games I'm looking forward to getting my controller-induced calloused fingertips on:









Check out how awesome this looks!



I'm wondering if this chick likes to partay:



And when you thought there wasn't anymore ODST to give...



Happy hunting you crazy kids...

Consider Yourself an Intellectual?

I think I'm a pretty smart guy. Okay, I haven't received any form of college degree, but I feel higher learning isn't mandatory in order to be considered an intellectual. I think I'm pretty well spoken, depending on my B.A.C. level and there are certain things I consider extremely intriguing, like a "The Universe" marathon on The History Channel. Maybe a better term for me would be "geek". Well the geek in me says you should really watch "FlashForward". I love shows that make me ask the questions only reserved for the deep recesses of my mentals:



What questions will you ask? Aside from, "Did I just see Seth MacFarlane?"

At the Red House!

I've still got to get a blog out about my birthday weekend, building the zombie church, and my mother-in-law's house getting flooded in The Philippines...but for now, I give you:



Spank you Ms. Dusty Bibles for hookin' a brotha up with that link.

As I Stroll the Quiet Streets of New Mombasa...

Hey mom, I've been having a great time on my tour of New Mombasa. The city is completely full of foreigners, but I'm trying my best to blend in and not cause an inter-galactic incident. Here I am trying to get someone's attention by poppin' a cap in his ass:



And this is me using my sniper scope to take wonderful headshots of some of other foreigners in the area:



Of course, sometimes I'm met with a bit of resistance. Some of it hostile and I've suffered an injury or two:



Regardless, I'm still glorious...even in defeat:



Wish you were here!

Everyone Should Watch this Show!

Just watched the premier of Modern Family on ABC. HOLY CRAP it is some funny funny television.

Would Love to Talk...

...but I've got an alien infestation problem to deal with.

Probably won't be blogging for a little while since I'll be playing with my birthday present from the fam. Here's a picture of me on the battlefield.



Here's a couple more bones for you too. The latest Red vs. Blue - ODST episode.


"He moves like a whisper that you only say to the wind at midnight." Hahaha. And here's the extended version of the ODST live action short. Kind of cool how the son uses the same flag given to him at his father's funeral for future fallen ODSTs.



Happy hunting you crazy kids!

What the What?!

I'm not really the type to brag, but I'm an award winning filmmaker. In 2005, Ken and I entered in our first "insomniac" film festival/project/competition. Basically, you're given a certain amount of time and in that time you have to write, shoot, edit and submit a short film based on certain elements provided at the very start of the competition. Then the starter pulls the pistol, and you're off...and you aren't sleeping much. Hence, why they're called "insomniac" film festivals.

Anyway, in 2005, we competed in the Filmerica 72 Hour Film Challenge. It was our first competition and we won Best in Genre for "Heroes are Made".



So, I really am an award winning filmmaker. ;-) Seriously, that movie was only successful because of the help and dedication of a LOT of friends and family. Hard to believe that was 4 years ago.

Ken and I have competed in other insomniac film fests since then, but we haven't won any awards...until today! That's right, I'm an award winning filmmaker reborn!!! Muahaha[cough cough]haha. Recently, Ken and I entered into the Orlando 48 Hour Film Project. Given the elements (noted on the webpage) and the randomly picked genre of Comedy, we wrote, shot, edited and submitted "Let Sleeping Squirrels Lie" in 48 hours.



I'm happy to report the results have been released and we won Best Use of Character and Best Writing!!!

That was one of the best experiences I've had as a filmmaker and I have to give mad props to our cast (Mike, Lisa and Pat), our crew (Morgan, Lauren and Brenda) and our support staff (my wife, Laarni, Jordan and Jemara). Without all of your contributions, we wouldn't have pulled off such a successful film. I'd especially like to extend a thank you to Ken. Mano, without your support and personal commitment to the overall success of Cloudy Logic Productions, none of this would be possible. Plus, thanks for believing in me.

Extreme Parkour!

I never really got into The Office (either the original British version or the American dupe). I'm sure it is a funny show and it has won a bunch of awards, but I never vibed with it. I tried to watch a few episodes and they seemed good for a few laughs, but most of the time I'd shrug my shoulders, purse up my bottom lip, say "eh" and then change the channel.

The new season of it just started and a good friend of mine passed on something very funny that aired on the season premier. PARKOUR!!!



I might have to add this show to my bootleg list and queue it up behind all the other entertainment I need to watch.

My New IM Avatar Pic...

...is this. Sterling Archer is my new hero and here's why:





"That is my foot in your face. Smell the embarassment."