You say, "In the attic." I say, "Behind the sofa."

Stop me if you've heard this one. A family of five, who's been on Wife Swap a couple times, decide to make a big mylar balloon as a family experiment and somehow it flies away...

So, they find the son in the attic. Five hour search across 50 miles with a huge number of eyes looking for him. The military had a Kiowa in the air and they were getting a Blackhawk ready to join the search. Yes, the same helicopter in Blackhawk Down. They had a military chopper with it's own movie in the search...and they found him in the attic. Countless man and woman hours, gas for vehicles, and donuts were invested in the search for this kid. A crazy amount of tax dollars spent looking...and they found him in the attic. I'm not even including the hours wasted across the country as people were glued to their TV's or the internet watching the live news reports of this silver, UFO-ish balloon floating across cool autumn air of Colorado. When you add in that parameter, the scope and scale of this search and rescue effort is immeasurable. Probably priceless.

And they found him in the attic.

Am I upset? Not at all. If anything, I'm jealous because the same thing happened to me when I was about his age, but my search didn't get as much noteriety. Before I start this story, let me turn back the clock to when it occurs:



When I was 5-6 years old we were living at Scott Air Force Base in Illinois. One day I decided to hide from my mom. I didn't mean any harm. I was a kid and kids do harmless things purely because they make us giggle. And boy was I giggling as I hid behind that sofa, a little after lunch. My mom was doing mom stuff and I was going to hide until the perfect moment. [giggle] I'd wait here patiently and eventually she'll call my name. "Willie?" But I wouldn't answer. [giggle] No I won't. [giggle giggle] I'll wait until she gets a little frantic, almost screaming and THEN I'll pop out. [giggle yawn] That's what I'll do and it'll be awesome to see her face as I surprise her. [giggle yawn yawn] And then she'll be shocked and she'll scream in fear at first [yawn] but then she'll be happy to see me. [gigaYAWN yaaaaaawn] And then she'll give me ice cream [yawn] for being so silly and fun. I just have to make myself a little [yawn] more [yawn] comfortable. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

When I woke up it was nighttime and a stranger in a military police uniform was shaking me awake as others pulled away the sofa. The living room was completely filled with people and all of them were looking at me. My mother screamed alright. She screamed and rushed towards me and held me tighter than I've ever been held. And then I think she whipped my butt. I'm pretty sure after the hugging and the love and the magic of the reunion wore off, there was some butt whuppins.

Turns out I took an excitement-from-hiding-induced nap for over six hours. Totally true story. Next time my mom is in town, she'll be happy to confirm it. When ever we relive this story, we both laugh so hard we're always brought to tears. Both out of the re-experience and because it was the best possible outcome during those very punishing hours for my family. Those six, very short, hours of my life must have been several lifetimes for my parents. Sorry, mom and dad.

So, I tip my hat to Falcon Heene. He definitely showed me up.