Last night, Jemara is downstairs and turns on the TV. She calls to me, upstairs in my office, and says, "Hey Dad. Is that a frog?" Mind you, the only illumination she had was from the glow of the television. In fact, I thought she was referring to possibly a TV show with a frog. I didn't respond immediately, until I noticed a sense of urgency in her voice when she said, "Dad, there's a frog in the house!"
I get up from my, very comfortable, office chair to go take a look. Initial recon proved fruitless in determining the location of this supposed frog and thus added to the frustration I had to endure from raising my big butt off soft, supple leather. "Jemara, I don't see a frog."
While looking at me, she points to the plantation shutters behind her and says, "Right there on the window."
I squint my eyes in an attempt to improve my night vision, which has been greatly hampered by the onset of old age. "I don't see anything on the shutters."
Jemara then looks at the shutters to see, alas, there is no frog. At this point panic immediately begins to ensue because it is one thing to be afraid of a frog you can see, but when it disappears then that's just terrifying to an 11 year old girl. She spent the rest of her evening upstairs, in my office, under the comfort and security of her father downloading bootleg media. She eventually goes to bed with no further frog sightings, but I'm sure she slept with one eye open.
The morning starts with all the regular fanfare. Jemara getting ready for school. I'm going through my morning e-mail/blog/news traffic. (I know this might seem like I'm digressing, but it actually contributes to the story.) Jemara got a new phone (LG Vu) and it has a microSD slot, so I ordered her a 4GB card (I'm amazed you can buy 4GB of memory, smaller than a dime, for only $6!) The microSD card comes with a regular SD adapter, which makes it easier to transfer files directly to and from your computer.
This morning, Jemara asked me to put some music on her phone. I remember the SD adapter is downstairs on the kitchen island, so I head down to get it with Jemara following closely behind. I walk into the kitchen, see the adapter and make a beeline for it (I've still got to get ready for work). Without skipping a step, I pick up the adapter and continue out the opposite side of the kitchen. Before I even reach the exit, Jemara screams as loud as she can several times...
Okay, let me take a moment to build my defense before continuing this story. Aside from the mid-wife, I was the first one to see Jemara when she came into this world. Since that moment, she's been everything to me. I've been a very attentive and loving father. Taught her almost everything she knows from tying her shoes, riding her bike, swimming, etc. For those of you that know me also know Jemara is the most important thing in my life and I care for her very deeply. Having said that, upon hearing Jemara's screams, what did this devoted and caring father do?
Run.
I ran away from the screams as fast as I could. Listen, all I heard was screaming so my natural hood instinct kicked in and I ran to a safe distance so I can properly evaluate the situation from afar. That is why horror movies are bullcrap. Normally when people hear screams, the ones who aren't screaming break camp and run. Call me chicken. I don't care. I call it survival. Anyway, once I got to within the safe confines of the living room, I turned around to ascertain the situation. "Jemara, what is it?!"
Jemara was already halfway up the stairs. "It's a frog! I told you!"
"Where?"
"On the island in the kitchen!"
I slowly step back into the kitchen and sure enough the frog was right on the corner of the island. I must have completely overlooked it when grabbing the SD adapter.
 |
| From blogpics |
Mom must have been awakened by Jemara's screams and my rapid footsteps fleeing the kitchen. She comes out of the bedroom, sees what's going on and says, "Okay, you need to get that thing out of here. Now." She hands me an empty box and I proceed to try to trap it. He jumps like 5 feet from the island and lands in one of our cases of bottled water.
 |
| From blogpics |
From there I wrapped the whole case of water in a trash bag and carried it outside where he was released back to nature, via our front yard.
 |
| From blogpics |
 |
| From blogpics |
Once our overnight guest was sent on his/her (they're asexual I think) way, the world continued along it's normal path. Thanks to our amphibian friend for providing us with some Friday morning excitement and showing Jemara exactly where she falls in my zombie plan.
0 comments:
Post a Comment